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In case you were blinded by her fattitude, the shirt says "sixty 9."  There is no way  the number on her shirt stands for the sexual position; the thought of someone touching her, let alone fucking her is a little ludicrous.  

The "sixty-9" stands for her weight.  In tons.

PS: I think she's a vampire because she doesn't seem to be casting a reflection.  Then again, I've never seen a fat vampire, so maybe it's just a weird camera angle.

Act now, before the summer's over! Your kids can still have a great time at "Weird Al's Pedophilia Camp."
Tonight on Eyewitness News 7: Frankenstein is not a myth!  He is alive and terrorizing young children across the southland!  Tune in at 10:00 for details of his heinous abductions and subsequent baby-eating!
I've always been a pretty big Tupac and Laker fan.  Now that I see who my peers are, I'm going to take up classical music and rugby. 
Yeah, I might be an idiot. But I've discovered one thing that the Bill Lambier-looking-dude (thanks John) hasn't.  It's called a "toothbrush."  

PS I don't think anyone in their thirties who spends the majority of their time in people connection chat rooms on AOL should call anyone an idiot.

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