Updated December 9th by Rick

Rick Goes Raving!

     As strange as it might sound these days for someone under the age of 25, I've never went to a rave; at least, until, last night. Boy, I never knew what I was missing!
     Now, I admit, I wasn't exactly excited to be attending my first rave. I was planning on an exciting night of "staying at a friends and watching movies" when fate intervened; the friend who was hosting the movies needed to drop another friend off at a rave. Well, one thing led to another and before you could say "hypocritical hippie tree hugger" I was RAVING!  Man, it was exciting.
     What exactly did I like about the rave, you might ask? Was it the music? Was it the overall feeling of peace and unity?  Was it the awesome fashion or the fascinating array of bright shiny lights?  No, of course not.  The rave was special for two reasons:  all my pre-conceived notions and stereotypes regarding raves turned out to be true and I have never in my life been in an area so saturated with motards.  Indeed, there really was people wandering around in mindless, drug-induced states espousing random greetings.   Also, much like an ER emergency after an explosion at a glitter factory, people were standing around in multi-colored, vapor filled face masks.  Lego was "cutting it up" and annoying strobe lights were ruining my night vision.  The icing on the cake, though, was when me and my comrades were fleeing the rave (lest we catch "hippie") and someone actually asked, "Hey, do you have any water?" I couldn't believe my luck!  An e-tard raver was actually who was on the brink of death actually asked me for water of all things!  Amazing!  I left that rave feeling what a ufofile would feel leaving area 51, or a Nessie hunter leaving Lochness, or a Grateful Dead fan forgetting soap-I had at last discovered that my pursuit of motards was not in vain.  They truly exist and are truly as stupid as I had dreamed and hoped.  Today, I am satisfied.
     Here are some pictures from a rave.  Not the rave I was attending; but really, it could've been these same silly fucks there as far as I know-they all look alike to me.

If only this chair was electricApparently, Raving and dentistry don't mix
Oh my stars and garters: they're procreating.Oh look, it's your friendly neighborhood crack vendor!  Someone please shoot me.  Or Him.  Whoever's closer.
Even celebrities attend raves.  Well, if you can really count Full House stars Dave Cooley (or however you spell it) and Bob Sagget as celebrities.Damn.   See people?  The radio stopped playing his music, and now the great Phil Colins has been reduced to spinning music for Kandy Kids at one of these moronic crack-smoking meetings.  Call your local DJs and save Phil!

Rick's Christmas Wish List

     Once again, I blatantly steal an idea from Something Awful as I place a semi-humorous amazon.com wish list on my page in a pathetic attempt to get my fans to buy me things which I may or may not really want! So, if you really love me buy me things and I'll be momentarily grateful!  If that doesn't work simply go to amazon.com and search for "iberick9109@aol.com."  Go to any means necessary to buy me things!