Update for April 08 by Lisa 

     Welcome to Motard Girls the feature on this site dedicated to letting you know just what every girl wants to know!!!! LOL! In this edition we'll give you tips that'll help you landand A SUPER KEWL KUTE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!

How To Get The SUPER KEWL KUTE GUY!!!!!!!LOL!

1. Be Really Really Kute! Face it girls, guys don't like ugly girls so if you're ugly you're out of luck!!!! Sorry! It's not my fault, not everyone can be as kute as me! Ok but you're saying "I'm ugly help me get a boyfriend or I will have to go to the prom with my brother!" LOL!!!! Well the best way for you to find a guy that won't mind if you're ugly is to find a GAY GUY. He won't care at all because he probably wants your brother anyway. Another way to get a guy to like you is to find a guy that is at the library!! LOL!!! The library!! LOL!!! This guy is probably a LOSER and will be desperate to get with anything that isn't a magazine although he may be mad you're not a klingon LOL!!!! It will especially help if you see him reading BRAILE because then he won't see what an UGLY BEAST you are! LOL!!!!!
2. Aproach Him With A Plan! It's best to know what you want before you approach your SUPER KEWL KUTE GUY!!!!!!!!LOL! Do you want to go and have a nice dinner with him or do you want him to hit it now and get out the house? LOL!!! It's up to you you better know before you or you might end up married with 40 kids on welfare smoking ciggaretes that you found on the ground because you're too bad at making plans to get a good job or a good man!!!!
3. Prepare for Approach! You want to make sure you're looking HOT but not TOO HOT because you want to look hotter on the date. The best thing to do is come slutty but not TOO slutty you know? It also helps to look smart but not TOO smart because you don't want him to think you're aproaching him for math tutoring!!! Also you should be skinny!!!! If you're not skinny start barfing till you're skinny!!!! Make sure you're make-up's on!!! Once you're SUPER KUTE (if you're me!!! You're probably not super kute but hey, that's your parent's fault, not mine!) walk up to him caually like he's a complete piece of pesculant slime that you wouldn't stop to talk to if he was giving out deoderant and you just ran 30 miles and you weren't ALL THAT SURE!!! It also helps not to look at him!!! Once you are finally in front of him casually glance at him and be prepared because the moment of truth has arrived, girlfriend!!!!
4. The Moment of Truth!!!! OK! To recap the story, you're standing in front of your guy and pretending he's slime and you're SUPER KUTE (unless you're ugly!!) and you're ready to ask him out!!!!!! Start out by saying "hi" DUH. This isn't brain surgery!!! Then casually ask about the weather or some other useless bullshit to make sure that the guy isn't mute or a tard or something. Once you make sure he's not a mongoloid go ahead and get ready to ask him out. This can be kinda complex though!! Make sure to do so in a way that is culturally appropriate to him. Like for instance say he's a major hip hop head. Then you say something like "yo shorty come swing my way we can kina gets our groove on a one on one tip, noimsayin?" If he's a surfer say "hey moon doggy let's do a tandum ride on the waves of love." If he's a smoker just say "yo." If he's a NERD LOL! YOU MUST BE UGLY LOL! But you want to say "Excuse me young man, would you like to accompany on a lovely rendevous in which we might venture to become a tad bit more familiar with each other? My pardons for not being a Klingon." LOL!!! You FAT COW!!! Oh yeah if he's blind then you need to do sign language for him because he's probably retarded and won't understand smart people talk!!!! LOL !!!! Just kidding, blind people can't see, you dumbass!!!! Just talk really slow.

Ok, that's all the tips for this time, but next time I will tell you what to do once you're actually on the date with him.